I know why we aren't discussing it. It's because we don't have the time!
I just got the chance to read the article because it has been one of those days, but all jokes aside, this article brought tears to my eyes. I see it happening to moms everywhere. It's happening to me! I have written about this many times. As moms, we go, go, go...from one task to the next, from our full-time jobs and then back home where it seems we're working even harder after an already full day...to make dinner, wash up the dishes, help the little ones with homework, bathe them, read to them, and pray with them. We may fall asleep while putting them to bed (I've done that many times!) By then we are so exhausted, we have no time left for ourselves, let alone to give to our husbands who are already feeling left out and neglected. Before you know it, it's the next day, and you're doing it all over again! Day in and day out.
And sure, this issue is compounded for those moms who are single or who do not have the support at home as in an extended family to lend a helping hand. And I don't think stay-at-home-moms are excluded from this group because I think they work just as hard and are just as tired as moms who work full-time outside of the home.
To be honest, I have lost myself these last five years. Even with help from The Hubs, I have put myself last, sacrificing for my son and family. We are now having "the talk" and trying to decide if me staying at home is the way to go. I would love to be that mom who takes my son to school, picks him up, goes on field trips with him, and volunteers at his school every week. I would love to be that mom who can really enjoy his youth and be patient and calm instead of rushing around impatient most of the time. Life just cannot continue this way. It's taking a toll. Maybe it's my job as a teacher at a Title I school...it is emotionally and physically draining. But what about other moms who aren't teachers and are just as stressed out and exhausted at the end of every day?
So what's the solution? Well the article mentions these five things: breathe, take inventory, prioritize your life, take charge, and make changes.
My response to those five things is this. As far as breathing...been there, done that! I have taken inventory, and I've never wanted IT all. I have stated that before that I'm no superwoman. Neither do I want to be! I do prioritize my life. I know what is important, and that's why I guess I work so hard now making sure my son has the right foundation. This hard work is really temporary and will pay off.
The areas I do believe I need to work on are these: I need to take charge and make changes. Because my role as a teacher consumes me during the week and my family is my priority during the weekend, I have neglected my female friendships. Most days I'm so tired, I don't have the energy for a phone convo. But I need these friendships. I'm missing that in my life, and I admit I have closed myself off from those relationships. I don't have nearly enough time with like minded women who feel the same way I do, who can spend at least one day a week or every other week sharing, laughing, and bonding over these issues. This, I think would truly make a difference.
As I rush off to give Buddy Roller a bath and read a couple of books to him before putting him to bed, I will end with this. Moms sacrifice. We've been doing it for centuries. It's what we do, and what we will continue to do. Whether we have a full-time job outside of the home, or we are stay-at-home moms, there's some sort of sacrifice taking place. Because this is a tough job with no big accolades, we do need to take little time here and there and have pure joy. Whether that means connecting with some true sista-friends and letting loose often, or just taking some time and doing what truly inspires us and makes us happy...we need to. That's what's going to get us through this motherhood thing.
So connect with others, and share with others what it's honestly like on this journey. I think that's what I need to do. Because the truth is, we are not alone in this.
So why go at it alone?
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