How to Make Friends, According to Middle Schoolers

In my early 40's, I did something I didn't normally do...

I bravely stepped out of my comfort zone, called a colleague from work and asked her to a play date with my son and me. That was several years ago, and if I hadn't summoned that courage, I wouldn't have gained hours of phone conversations, dinners at Cuban restaurants, miles of walking, book swaps and a true friend, for life.

Making friends doesn't come naturally to everyone. Look at me.  It wasn't until my 40's that I started to be more outgoing and less of an introvert. And then there are middle schoolers. I think it's even harder for some of them to make friends. I see it all the time, and it breaks my heart to see lonely souls at school...especially at lunch. 

I remember being that new kid at Windsor High School. Newly "off the boat" from Jamaica and knowing no one. Lunch brought me the most anxiety! Where would I sit? Who would I sit with? Would anyone talk to me and welcome me to their table?

This week I asked my smart 6th graders their advice on how to make friends. This is what they told me:

1. Be truthful (so you don't attract the wrong friend) and straightforward.
2. Be yourself.
3. Step up and start the conversation.
4. Say hello!
5. Be a friend to make a friend.
6. Listen to learn more about a person.
7. Never be someone you're not.
8. Stay positive.
9. Be brave.
10. Be helpful.
11. Be confident.
12. Be a standout. 
13. Tell jokes to break the ice.
14. Help in tough times.
15. Be nice.
16. Find someone with a common interest.
17. Put yourself in someone's shoes.
18. Be kind.

It's not science, is it? It's quite simple, and these middle schoolers got it right, didn't they!

So if you're looking to make new friends, whether you're 12 or 48, just go for it. Be brave, speak up, be kind and just be yourself! You might be well on your way to meeting your next best friend.