I know what it's like when you're on the outside looking in....
When I first moved to the states from Jamaica, I was the new kid. Everyone had their friends, their clique, and no one was making room for the new island girl. At least not yet.
One of the most intimidating moments of my life was walking into the lively cafeteria at Windsor High School, and not having anywhere to sit. Have you seen the movie, Wonder? It's the scene where it's Auggie's first day of school, and he's in the cafeteria. Only everyone's sitting with their friends, and there's no place for him, so he just sits all by himself. Yup. I've been there!
Why didn't anyone invite him to sit with them on that first day?
So there I was, in a new country, at a new school, and you have to understand that even though that was my first day, those students had already had many first days with their friends since elementary school. And to make matters worse, I had started school well after the year had begun. Ugh! So, like Auggie, I sat all alone at lunch, on my first day, at my new school.
I think that's why, as a teacher, I'm so sensitive to this issue. Whenever I get a new student in my class, I always assign a buddy to make sure the new student has someone to show them around, and I always make sure that student is never alone at lunch.
Just this week, Buddy Roller and I visited the pool for the first time this summer. When we got there, a group of kids were playing basketball and then sharks and minnows. It was clear they were already "friends" by the way they joked and teased each other, and as they played, a very quiet and shy Buddy Roller just stood on the sidelines and watched. The kids clearly noticed his presence as they glanced at him a number of times.
Still. No one invited him to play. The mom in me desperately wanted someone to ask him to join them. I saw the kids watching him, and I was silently pleading, please someone, ask him to play.
It didn't happen. Didn't any of the other parents notice this? No.
"Why don't you ask if you can play?" I asked Buddy Roller.
"I just want to watch," he said.
I couldn't take it anymore.
I walked over to the pool and jumped in. I went over to the area where the basketball hoop was, I got the ball, and then casually asked the other kids, "Do you want to play?" Gabriel was the first to say yes. Then Miles and Jack wanted to play, and before you know it, at least six of us, including Buddy Roller were playing a game. After that, there were many other games, and you know what? Buddy Roller was invited to play them all.
Maybe parents aren't teaching their kids to include others. Maybe it's something that just doesn't come up. Maybe kids are too busy playing. Maybe at a very young age, I experienced what it felt like to be "left out," and I'm just more hypersensitive to these kinds of situations. Either way, it's a lesson I will continue to teach my son...to be kind, and to include the new kid who appears to be on the outside looking in.
One of the most intimidating moments of my life was walking into the lively cafeteria at Windsor High School, and not having anywhere to sit. Have you seen the movie, Wonder? It's the scene where it's Auggie's first day of school, and he's in the cafeteria. Only everyone's sitting with their friends, and there's no place for him, so he just sits all by himself. Yup. I've been there!
Why didn't anyone invite him to sit with them on that first day?
So there I was, in a new country, at a new school, and you have to understand that even though that was my first day, those students had already had many first days with their friends since elementary school. And to make matters worse, I had started school well after the year had begun. Ugh! So, like Auggie, I sat all alone at lunch, on my first day, at my new school.
I think that's why, as a teacher, I'm so sensitive to this issue. Whenever I get a new student in my class, I always assign a buddy to make sure the new student has someone to show them around, and I always make sure that student is never alone at lunch.
Just this week, Buddy Roller and I visited the pool for the first time this summer. When we got there, a group of kids were playing basketball and then sharks and minnows. It was clear they were already "friends" by the way they joked and teased each other, and as they played, a very quiet and shy Buddy Roller just stood on the sidelines and watched. The kids clearly noticed his presence as they glanced at him a number of times.
Still. No one invited him to play. The mom in me desperately wanted someone to ask him to join them. I saw the kids watching him, and I was silently pleading, please someone, ask him to play.
It didn't happen. Didn't any of the other parents notice this? No.
"Why don't you ask if you can play?" I asked Buddy Roller.
"I just want to watch," he said.
I couldn't take it anymore.
I walked over to the pool and jumped in. I went over to the area where the basketball hoop was, I got the ball, and then casually asked the other kids, "Do you want to play?" Gabriel was the first to say yes. Then Miles and Jack wanted to play, and before you know it, at least six of us, including Buddy Roller were playing a game. After that, there were many other games, and you know what? Buddy Roller was invited to play them all.
Maybe parents aren't teaching their kids to include others. Maybe it's something that just doesn't come up. Maybe kids are too busy playing. Maybe at a very young age, I experienced what it felt like to be "left out," and I'm just more hypersensitive to these kinds of situations. Either way, it's a lesson I will continue to teach my son...to be kind, and to include the new kid who appears to be on the outside looking in.
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