The "How Are You?" Statement

Chimney Rock State Park, North Carolina

"How are you?" is a question. Not a statement.  Let that sink in for a moment.

As you go about your day to day life, do you find that "How are you" is not a question, but rather a statement? I think if we were to be honest, it would be the latter. It is for me...some of the time. Someone mentioned this thought provoking statement last week and since then, I haven't been able to get it out of my mind.

In fact, it seems every time I said, "How are you?" to someone in the last few days, a little voice reminded me...You just did it again, you asked someone how they are...but it was a statement not a question. 

I am guilty of this. 

Are you? 

I have been so programmed to say this to friends and co-workers, in passing, busy to get to the next meeting or next appointment, or just in a hurry to get another thing checked off my "to-do" list. Likewise, I think we are also programmed in our response, automatically replying, "I'm doing well, how are you?"

Do we really expect people to answer honestly? And if we do, are we prepared to hear how they are really doing. Are we prepared for their responses, and if we aren't, are we still going to inquire?

By making "How are you" a statement, in passing, and not a question, I have undoubtedly missed dozens and dozens of opportunities to really have an authentic meaningful conversation with someone by just being caring, rather than making an empty statement.

I'm certainly not implying that I will never ask that question again, I'm just saying that perhaps I need to be more deliberate about my words.

"How are you?" is a question. It shouldn't be a statement.