What I've Been Listening to Everyday

I've been listening to this CD every morning on my way to work, and whenever I'm in the car by myself. Like the title says, it's 101 ways to really transform your life. The late Dr. Wayne Dyer gives 101 easy and simple ways to change your life. It's calming, full of wisdom, and it's a great way to start any day. 

I've found Dr. Dyer's advice particularly useful in finding peace everyday and especially in resolving conflict.  If you're like me and searching for inner peace and battling the millions of thoughts that enter your mind each day,  these 101 ways may really be helpful for you. 

Here are a few examples:

Number 7 - 

"Write down this ancient truth and reread it on a daily basis.  When you seek happiness for yourself, it will always elude you.  When you seek happiness for others, you will find it yourself."

Number 11 - 

"Lighten your material load starting today.  As you do so, less energy is spent hoarding, and insuring, and moving, and polishing, and so on.  The less attracted you are to your possessions, and the more you are able to share them with others unconditionally, the more peaceful your life will be."

Number 28 - 

"Make a daily effort to look upon others without condemnation.  Every judgment takes you away from your goal of peace. Keep in mind that you do not define anyone with your judgment, but only define yourself as someone who needs to judge."

Number 30  - 

"When you have the choice to be right or to be kind, always choose kind.  Remember that you have that choice in all of your daily interactions."

You can listen to the entire CD for free if you sign up for Dr. Dyer's weekly newsletter here.  I would love to hear what you think.

Running Among Thousands...in the Rain

Photo Credit: Atlanta Track Club

Writing this blog truly has its benefits.

Writing this blog is the reason I had to run The Peachtree Road Race.  You see, I wrote about how my story began here, my dilemma, and my ultimate decision. And that's why I love writing this blog so much. It allows me to tackle my fears, and face them head on. Because writing about something, means I have to do IT. Words do have power.

So. Yes. As you may have guessed, earlier today, I put on my running shoes and run like a girl I did...

All By Myself...but Not Really

So.  I have a dilemma.

It's something that's been on my life's "to do" list for several years now. I've tried to do it before, but it hasn't happened...yet. And I feel like if I don't do it tomorrow, the opportunity will never present itself again...

These Walls,These People, and a Farewell

These are the same hallways I walked years ago that let me know I was going to be a teacher. These are the very same hallways where I've had a "love LOVE/not so love" relationship with the joys, challenges, and struggles of being an educator at a Title I school.

But today is the last day I will walk these halls...

Chalk Talk - What I'll Leave Behind

For as long as I could remember, I had always wanted to be a teacher. When I was a little girl, I would get all my stuffed animals and dolls to be my students, and I would pretend to be their teacher. I also had a fascination with chalkboards and loved writing on them. Too bad those became obsolete by the time I started teaching!

But.  For a long time, I put my dreams on hold...

If I Am What I Eat...

If I am what I eat, and that's true, then I don't like the images of what I've been feeding myself. Picture this.  Carrot cake, any cake, doughnuts, brownies, ice-cream, M&Ms, Doritos, and the list goes on. And on.

I've been dreaming of a healthier me for a while now. I want to be healthier. Eat healthier. Be healthier. I want to be in the best shape of my life. I want a body with toned muscles and definition and abs that are rock solid. Okay maybe that's a stretch LOL!  But I know what I don't want.  I don't want a body that's soft and bulgy.  I want to look and feel good.

It's easier said than done.

When I think of all the things I'm putting into my body, I can't possibly reach my goal eating this way.  If I want to accomplish these goals and live a longer healthier life...things have to change. I have to do it for me, but I also have to do it for my family. I'm my son's role model, and he sees me eating all this unhealthy stuff, then he may very well adopt my very bad habits. I can't be responsible for that! I know this takes commitment and discipline. Motivation and determination.  It makes me think of all the people who've cut either meat or sugar from their diet. Why can't I be just as committed?

I'm running the Peachtree Road Race in July. I'm hoping this annual Atlanta tradition will jump start my healthier routine because I have to train and prepare for it. I mean it's the largest 10K in the world! Even though I ran a half marathon eons ago BK (before kid), running a 5K would be a little challenge, but since the Peachtree is twice as long as a 5K...this girl better get moving!

So. Starting today I am what I eat, but in a good way. That means all fruits, veggies and meat. No sugars. No junk. I'm challenging myself to do this for 30 days.  And please understand that I don't believe in diets and weight loss fads. I do believe in eating healthy and exercising, but I do need to go without the unhealthy stuff for a month to re-train my mind and body how to do it the right way.  I will also be running three times a week and incorporating many other activities into my life...riding my bike with my family or playing a game of basketball with the neighborhood kids.

I can do it. I know it, but I need accountability. So writing about it makes this challenge that more real and that more doable. I can't wait to see the results. But more importantly, I'm excited to be a healthier me!

"You People"

I haven't been writing much these past few weeks. Literally, I've been in survival mode at work.  It's that time of year. It's nearing the end of the school year, and things are just wearing me down. Ya know?

Kids are sometimes hard to work with. I feel like things have really changed since I went to school. Back then, teachers were respected and listened to. It used to be cool to get good grades and be respectful. These days I don't see that. Most days, I feel exhausted and defeated. Sounds sad right? But I'm really okay. I'm not writing this for pity. I'm writing to just release my feelings because I know this is only temporary and brighter things are on the horizon.  I don't bring work home, and thankfully I have a happy home life that makes this really manageable.

A lot of teachers are planning their exit, and of course that's been on my mind too. I've written before about the mass exodus that's typical this time of year.  I find myself reflecting a lot these past few weeks.  Am I doing the right thing by staying another year? Is this where I should be? Is this where I want to be? Don't get me wrong. I'm committed, and I go to work everyday with a smile on my face. Professional. A team player. That won't change.

But this morning someone really irked me at work, and I just want to vent for three minutes.

Do you mind?

The whole school has been testing for the past two days. Kids have been on a "block schedule," stuck in a classroom for up to three hours for one test. A test that only has 21 test items. So. Picture a class of 27 students of varying abilities. In a classroom. Taking a test that only takes some of them 20 minutes. Some may take 30 minutes. Or even 40 minutes. You have to keep the whole class quiet while maybe one student takes up to one hour to complete the test. Then after all the kids have been sitting for over an hour, and they are all done testing you have to have an engaging lesson for them. Any lesson, plus 27 students, who have checked out mentally,and who think it's pure torture to be in a classroom for that long, does not equal engagement.

So at about 4:30 this morning I woke up with a plan to do something different with my kids to make up for the torture of the last two days. The plan, however, required about 100 copies. Copies I would need this morning when I got to work. Problem is, at my school, the rule is, you need at least 48 hours to get copies made. Not usually a problem for me. I'm a planner, and I normally get my copies made way in advance. I didn't think bending the rule, just this one time, would be a problem.

I filled out a copy request and asked my AP (assistant principal) to sign off on it.  She did it without hesitation. She supports teachers. I love that about her! I then took the request to the front office to have the copies made. I would normally ask a clerk for a request like this, but since there wasn't one around, I asked the administrative assistant for help. Wrong. Choice.

She looked at the request and started, "We're not supposed to do this. You people need at least 48 hours for copies." Then she spotted my AP walking into the office and asked, "Did you sign off on this request?" to which my AP proudly answered, "Yes I did!" as she kept it moving. The administrative assistant reluctantly took my request and started to make my copies.

All the while I was standing there thinking...she called me "you people." Really? You people!!! I play by the rules 99% of the time. I get to work on time. If I'm even one minute late, I'm the one who signs in late at the front office. I'm that person! That's what you're supposed to do.  While others who are more than 15 to 30 minutes late don't even bother to do that. Never mind the fact that I'm a teacher leader. And co-chair of the language arts department. She called me "you people." I'm a teacher. Working at a school...teaching and serving students. I need copies. That's a requirement for the job. Other schools allow teachers access to their own copy machine to make their own copies!

Maybe she was having a bad day. I'll chalk it up to that.  I have never had an exchange like that with her ever in all the years I've known her.  But more importantly, the lesson here is I need to practice more humility. So what she spoke to me like that? Who do I think I am to expect better treatment? After all, I'm here to serve. Not to be served.

That's it. Venting over. My minutes are up.  I'm done.

Thanks for listening.

Set Your Fears On Fire

What are your fears?

Are they holding you back from life? From joy? Are they keeping you up at night?

I think it's safe to say that we all have some kind of fear. Some big ones. Some small. And your fears may be different if you're a man or a woman. If you have children, or if you don't. If you're married, or if you're single.

I won't even say what my fears are because I don't want to give them any power, but last night I burned one of my biggest fears. In a fire pit. Outside in the frigid cold. I did it along with several other people from my church during a small group meeting.  It was freeing, and an empowering act of not letting my fears get the best of me.

Here's a side note.  My church is big on small groups. Our pastor always says that a small group is the answer to being part of a big and diverse church. It's the small group that really allows you to grow in your faith, help the community, and be accountable to others.  Many, many, many years ago, I was part of a small group and I served in many ministries and even went on a mission's trip to Mexico. That was BK (before kid). Since having Buddy Roller, I have not been part of a small group and I have not served in any ministries.

And it's time to get back to what's important.

Last night was my first step in accomplishing a goal I had put on hold for too long. Being part of a small group is a good thing. It builds community, and relationships that help people get through life. I think it's no coincidence that my first meeting at a small group, in several years, would challenge me to face one of my biggest fears, and then burn it.

Now that I think about it, I should've put a lot more on that piece of paper. Seems I have more burning to do!

Fears steal our joy and keep us from truly living our happiest, best life possible. Burn your fears. Do it today.

Each Day's Promise

Don't you just love the promise of a new day?

As I was driving to school this morning, I caught a beautiful glimpse of the sun just peeking through the clouds trying to shine the brightest light ever on this day.

I couldn't quite capture the moment I wanted as I was driving. But as soon as I made it to school, I snapped the picture above.

Each day brings with it a new promise.

A promise for a day better than the one before.

A day to try new things and live with no regrets.

A day to live without fear, and just "go for it!"

A day to be nicer than the one before. Kinder. Pouring out love in places where love has not shown its face.

A day to leave the past where it should be. In. The. Past.

A day to dream bigger than ever before, believing and knowing that you are worthy indeed.

A day to believe the impossible.

A day to know it is possible.

A day to speak love and encouragement to someone who needs it most.

A day to smile a little brighter and laugh a little harder.

A promise for a day better than the one before.

Each day brings with it a new promise.

Don't you just love the promise of a new day?

The "How Are You?" Statement

Chimney Rock State Park, North Carolina

"How are you?" is a question. Not a statement.  Let that sink in for a moment.

As you go about your day to day life, do you find that "How are you" is not a question, but rather a statement? I think if we were to be honest, it would be the latter. It is for me...some of the time. Someone mentioned this thought provoking statement last week and since then, I haven't been able to get it out of my mind.

In fact, it seems every time I said, "How are you?" to someone in the last few days, a little voice reminded me...You just did it again, you asked someone how they are...but it was a statement not a question. 

I am guilty of this. 

Are you? 

I have been so programmed to say this to friends and co-workers, in passing, busy to get to the next meeting or next appointment, or just in a hurry to get another thing checked off my "to-do" list. Likewise, I think we are also programmed in our response, automatically replying, "I'm doing well, how are you?"

Do we really expect people to answer honestly? And if we do, are we prepared to hear how they are really doing. Are we prepared for their responses, and if we aren't, are we still going to inquire?

By making "How are you" a statement, in passing, and not a question, I have undoubtedly missed dozens and dozens of opportunities to really have an authentic meaningful conversation with someone by just being caring, rather than making an empty statement.

I'm certainly not implying that I will never ask that question again, I'm just saying that perhaps I need to be more deliberate about my words.

"How are you?" is a question. It shouldn't be a statement.

On Transformation

Montego Bay, Jamaica

Feeling deserving on this rainy day.

Why Not Me?

I attended an "invitation only" event this evening. Women only.  At this time, I cannot reveal the details of the event as it's still in the "foundational" stage.

When I got there, it was like I expected it would be. A room full of beautiful, strong, confident women leaders, young and "wise" and every age in between...99.9% of whom I did not know. I had seen most of them around, but I did not know them personally. Only one of them I knew.

Great! I am soooo uncomfortable being in a room full of people I hardly know. I'm just not that super out-going person who makes schmoozing look effortless. What do I do? Do I try to strike up a conversation with any one of them? Who? What do I say? I soooo hate this feeling.

I managed to make my way over to the one person I knew and chit chatted for a few minutes. When the conversation ended, and after I had talked myself out of being brave enough to meet a stranger, I just moseyed my way over to a lonely table and its one lonesome chair. I sat there trying to look calm and collected like I didn't mind at all being the only one sitting alone with no one to talk to...when on the inside I was just mortified!

That's when she...this elegant being and the very essence of a woman...walked over to me and pulled another table to join mine.  Then she gracefully walked across the room returning each time with a chair she lifted herself to bring to my table muttering something about "there's no way you're going to sit here all by yourself when there are all these women around." Now if you understood who "she" was, you would understand that this was the most humble thing she could do to serve me. People are usually serving her.  I was dumbfounded; I just sat there when I should have gotten up and helped with the chairs.  It left me with a greater respect and admiration for this woman, but at the same time also made me a teeny bit more mortified as it drew unwanted attention to me!

Well, my table eventually filled up with five other women, and all this time I'm asking myself, why am I here? Why me? How do I fit in with this group of women who are leaders and life changers? Is this a mistake? Was my invitation meant for someone else? Why me? Why? Why?

Then the very lovely and elegant woman took the floor and answered all my nagging questions. As it turns out, each woman was hand picked to attend this event.  Really? Me? Picked? Who picked me? We were given the details about the gathering and were told that although we were invited to come, it was not a mandate. We were to prayerfully consider taking the next step.

I have to admit that while a small part of me feels someone did make a teeny mistake for inviting me, another slightly bigger part of me feels like I was called to this meeting.  For every doubt that crept into my mind, the elegant woman had an answer to combat each of my fears.

As a Christian, I know the enemy loves to tell lies. You're not worthy enough, you don't belong here, you're not good enough, that invitation was sent to you by accident. I should know better.  But still, I was sitting there believing all those lies. And if the enemy has his way, I will go on believing that. Whatever happened to "yes" girl. Where is she?!

So...

Why not me?

It is ironic that I have been praying for an opportunity like this one. Not exactly, but pretty darn close. And I know that while we have our plans, God has an even bigger one. Right? To be part of a group of like-minded women, who are authentic, transparent, spiritual, united in the goal to love those who need it most and change lives...is really intriguing.

This is a great challenge for me to get out of my comfort zone and open myself up for growth and new fulfilling "real" relationships.  It's time to act and seize the moment. I'm the only one holding me back, and it would be a missed opportunity if I closed the door on this one.