Selflessness is the Key to Family Strong

I love my church.

It truly makes me a better person, and trust me, I've come a long way.  It teaches me how to navigate through life and be a better wife, mother, teacher, a better me.

The current series at my church is called Family Strong and it's just that...focusing on the things that make a family strong.




I don't know about you, but I've seen far too many marriages end in divorce. My own parents divorced. The Hubs' parents too, and friends all around me have either already gone through divorce, or are heading that way.

How does this happen?

Have you ever wondered how two people can be madly in love one day...I mean they would do anything for each other...and yet end up not speaking to each other, and eventually divorce?

How could this be? It's something I've always wondered about.

This was the exact point of this week's message at my church, Victory World Church. Lead Pastor at the Hamilton Mill location, Pastor Johnson Bowie gave a very humorous yet enlightening sermon on this topic. And the answer, believe it or not, lies in being selfless.

Just to sum it up very quickly...here are three ways to be family strong by being selfless:

1. Don't allow celebration to turn into frustration. The idea is that all the cute things that you once loved about your spouse shouldn't turn into things you now despise about them. 
2. Turn "me" into "we". If you live your life all about "me, me me" and never about "we" as in two becoming one, and the family unit...that's a sure way to head into destruction. The idea is divided we fall, but united we stand. Marriages and family must have one vision or else there will be di-vision. Ultimately divorce.
3. And finally live by covenant, not contract. When we enter into a marriage covenant, it is a promise to love, honor and respect each other forever.  Contracts are different because they are based on fear and mistrust, and have no place in matrimony.

There was also much said about the 80/20 rule. Have you ever heard of it? It's based on the premise that you may be 80% happy in your marriage, but go searching for someone else to fulfill the "missing" 20% only to realize that you had it pretty good at 80%.

I don't know about you, but I'm happy with my 80%.  I realize that the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

As I reflect on that sermon, I'm reminded about the early stages of my relationship with The Hubs and how crazy in love we were. I remember being in grad school and driving in a snow storm from Boston, MA to Windsor, CT to see him. A drive that should have only taken an hour and 40 minutes tops, ended up taking eight hours in a blizzard! The things we do for love.

I'm also reminded of the first five years of our married life...years that should have been filled with travel and date nights and just time being young and in love, in a new life together. Instead we were in out of hospitals, gripped with fear and despair at The Hubs' diagnosis of renal failure, and the long battle that would ensue with dialysis and its many complications.

I think back to all we've been through and how all that has made us stronger. I think of our covenant to each other. The promise we made before God. Wow, how true those words...in sickness and in health. When we took our vows, we had no idea what was in store for us. But we had that promise to each other, that no matter what, we have faith knowing that we will see IT through. Together. And married!

For more information, or to hear one of the sermons just click here.

Too many marriages are ending in divorce. Let's get family strong!