Be True to Yourself

I recently ordered these MantraBands to wear as a daily reminder of what's really important...choose love, and be true, be you, be kind.  Sometimes we get so busy with our daily lives that it's easy to lose focus, and this week I did just that. I lost focus...


Buddy Roller had yet another school project, and I was feeling totally overwhelmed with teaching, completing my assignments for the year long class I'm taking, and many other things. I asked The Hubs if he could take the lead on this project, this time, since I oversaw the last one. That was the first mistake because I wasn't happy with how things turned out. You see, after all these years, I've come to accept the fact that I'm a perfectionist, and no one will do anything quite the way I would. To make matters worse, Roller had gone ahead and did his project "his way," under the "leadership" of The Hubs. And then to top that, Roller's teacher sent us pictures of already completed projects to show us some examples of what they could look like.

Those pictures set me off! First of all, they did not look like projects a second grader completed. It was clear they were completed by parents. Now I was faced with a decision. Should I remain true to myself and my values, and teach my kid good morals by having him turn in the project he had already completed all by himself? His project, though creative, lacked the neatness and appeal that a finished product should have.  Should I take over completely, which is totally against what I believe in, and make sure his project looked just as good (if not better) as the ones the other parents completed? I honestly contemplated this for a mere moment due to the anger I was feeling. I didn't want my son feeling that his project was "less than" or "not good enough" after comparing his to his classmates.

In the end, I decided on a resolution that was a combination of his way and mine. I realized that my fears and concerns were my own. I don't think my son is as neurotic as I am when it comes to school projects. I wanted to teach him the value of good work though, so I told him his first project was a first draft, well because you always do a draft first. Then we worked together doing the project over. The outline remained the same. He did his writing and drawings, and we worked to make sure the look of the project was neater and refined in appearance.

Halfway through the final project, I asked Roller which one he liked better...the first one he did all by himself, or the one we worked on together? His answer hurt me to my core. He said, "I think the first one was perfect." Perfect. And he was right. It was perfect because he did it, all effort and work by himself, and that should count for something. In fact, it counts for a lot in my book.  At that moment, I realized what was important. Who cares what other parents are doing with their children! I can't focus on that.  In our home, hard work, effort and a strong work ethic are important. Those qualities are to be celebrated because they set a strong foundation for children to be successful in the future.

This week helped remind me of three things. Be kind.  Sometimes I need to get out of my own way. I can't expect that when I ask for help, people will do things my way. That's unreasonable. I should have been nicer to The Hubs. Be you.  Always. Never change or lower your standards just because others do. Be true. Always.  Be true to yourself.

Buddy Roller has yet another project due in December, and you can bet money we won't be having a repeat of the issues I had this week!