Chalk Talk - What I'll Leave Behind

For as long as I could remember, I had always wanted to be a teacher. When I was a little girl, I would get all my stuffed animals and dolls to be my students, and I would pretend to be their teacher. I also had a fascination with chalkboards and loved writing on them. Too bad those became obsolete by the time I started teaching!

But.  For a long time, I put my dreams on hold...

... and pursued journalism instead.

Journalism was a ton of fun, and the experience was great, but something was just missing. The idea of making a difference which was and still is very important to me, was somehow lost as I chased story after story trying to make hard deadlines every day. 

Then fast forward a few years when I had to vote and Summerour Middle School was my poll location.  I still, to this day, remember walking those halls for the very first time and knowing I would be working there one day. Call it a premonition, call it strange, but that's how I knew.

The television station where I got my start would eventually close, and not being as passionate as I should have been about journalism, I decided to try something new. But again. Teaching would wait. 

I secured a job at a mortgage company, and for the next five years I would work my way up the corporate ladder, making good money, but still not at all fulfilled. When the mortgage crisis happened in 2007, I quickly volunteered to take a severance package and at last, I would give the teaching thing a try. I started as a substitute teacher at....you guessed it....Summerour Middle School. I worked hard for about a year and then when a teaching position opened up mid year, I was offered the job!

My first year of teaching sixth grade was amazing, thrilling and challenging all at the same time. I was also a new mom, and quite frankly, I was overwhelmed by being new at these two very different yet important jobs.  But I had a passion for teaching, I connected with my students, and I really enjoyed what I was doing.  I truly felt like I was fulfilling my purpose.

Now almost eight years later (mostly teaching seventh grade), the novelty of teaching has worn off, I am tired and disillusioned. Lately, I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle with students...daily.  It seems just to come to school prepared with even a pencil is too much to ask. 

And. We're also packing. Packing up to move into our brand spanking new school. Our old building has existed for over 50 years. And it's time for a new building. A new Summerour.

A time to start over. Make a fresh start.

The old Summerour will be demolished in June.  Last week my principal asked teacher leaders to think about our new school . Everything is new. Down to the furniture. With new beginnings, she asked us what we would take to the new building. Not literally, of course. She also asked us what old habits we would leave behind.

Hmmm...what great questions.

And so I've been reflecting last week and all this week. I know I want my passion for teaching to be re-ignited. I'm hoping this summer will give me some perspective and clarity on how I can achieve that. Also, I want to be surrounded by positive teachers, those I can learn from in order to improve my craft. I want to change things up a bit. 

That's why I've requested to go back to sixth grade next year. Where it all began. To work with a group of teachers and sixth graders who I know can spark that fire again.  And.  I want to get to the kids prepubescent before they start transforming and morphing into these strange creatures who are sometimes irrational, non-compliant, and unmotivated. 

I have got to surround myself with the positives. Leave the negativity behind. That includes teachers. And students.  Focus on all the kids who are making right choices and trying, instead of the few who are not.  I've got to get involved more. Let the kids know I truly care, and that I'm investing my time in them. And I know that will take a lot of sacrifice as I'm always struggling to "balance" it all. 

I'm ready to leave the negative behind. And I'm ready for an exciting new year filled with hope and promise.

I am.