Advice for My Pre-Married Self

In a recent post on marriage, I gave a rather lame answer on what advice I would give my pre-married self. You can read about it here.

We all know that marriage is a ton of work. No duh! And. After giving it some serious thought, here's what I should have said...

Wedded Wednesday - Each One Teach One

One of the perks of being married to The Hubs is that he makes me a better person.  Even though the truth can sometimes hurt, he's never been afraid to tell me when I've messed up.  And ya'll, I've messed up many times. And you know what, I appreciate that about him. Who wants to be married to someone who never keeps you accountable, or who's always tiptoeing around your emotions afraid to get you upset. Not me.

One of the ways I'm learning from The Hubs is through his generosity. Whether it's time, doing good deeds, being kind, he's always giving. Take last weekend for example. He arranged for us to make some sandwiches to feed the homeless. And this isn't the first time he's done this either. He bought all the groceries and supplies, and then all three of us worked together to get everything ready.  I love that he's leading by example, and I love that Buddy Roller is right in the midst learning too.

Here are some pictures if you'd like to see...

Wedded Wednesdays - Who Do You Adore?

A wise man once said, "What you do speaks so loudly I cannot hear what you're saying." The notion...that our actions speak more than our words because we can all talk a good game, but it all comes down to what we actually do.

The Hubs uses this quote quite often.  But I've found that I've never heard these words more clearly than now...

Wedded Wednesdays - Staying Connected

What's left after a very delicious dinner/date night at Goin' Coastal last week

Last month I had a very eye opening conversation with a colleague of mine. He and his wife were about to celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary, and he told me something that's had me reflecting ever since...

Have You Ever?

Have you ever looked up into the sky at night and wondered if the one you love is doing the same thing at the exact same time?

Wedded Wednesdays

Happy wife...happy life...so true!

Wedded Wednesdays - Love Talk

After spending almost 24 years together (married for 12), The Hubs and I are getting to understand each other pretty well.

We have a running joke between us.  Every time he calls me up and excitedly tells me that he has a surprise for me....it inevitably ends up being a surprise for him! LOL

Who does that!!! Does your spouse do that?

Or there are those times when he wants me to do something for him, but instead of coming right out and just asking me, he'll say, "We should do this, or we should get this done."

So now when I want him to do something for me, or complete a task around the house, I'll say, "Hon we should really do this."  I'm catching on...I'm speaking his language.

Speaking of language...do you know what your love language is? How about your spouse's?

Eons ago, The Hubs and I read the book, The 5 Love Languages.  Although I can't remember everything about the book, the most important things stuck! And that is, there are five love languages, and my love language is totally different from The Hub's.  I think it was well worth the read because to this day we try to communicate our love for each other in the way that matters . For so many years before that, we didn't have a clue about how to truly communicate. For example, I thought keeping a clean house and always having home-cooked meals was the way to my husband's heart. Turns out, that couldn't be farther from the truth. While words of affirmation is one of his love languages, mine include quality time and acts of service. You could also throw in an occasional gift, or two, and this girl would not mind at all!

After all these years together, I can honestly say that I truly know and understand my husband now. I could not say that even after the first five years of marriage. Really. It can take this long.

How about you?  What year of marriage are you in? Do you feel that you truly know your spouse, or do you agree that it can take many, many years before you really understand each other?

Wedded Wednesdays: Date Night

Do you and your spouse go on dates? How often? Once a week? Once a month? Do you get a chance to get away from the kids and life and just be together alone with no distractions?

I think it's one of the keys to having a great relationship.

I do miss those days (BK - before kid) when The Hubs and I could get away and spend some quality time together. I think the last time we had a true rendezvous was over the summer while we were in Connecticut visiting my mom. But with family far away, it's nearly impossible to go on regular dates. So Mom, if you're reading this, and you decide to move to Georgia, you would most certainly be helping me out.

This coming Sunday, The Hubs and I will celebrate 12 years of being married. I'm excited because we will be able to go on a true date. I've made reservations for dinner, and I can't wait! And because we don't get to do this nearly as often as we'd like, I'm sure I will really appreciate our time together that much more!

And since we're on the subject of dating, I've always wanted to try a dinner mystery, painting, and even this with The Hubs.

Wedded Wednesdays

Do you remember your wedding day as if it were yesterday? When you look back at your wedding pictures, are you as happy now as you were then?

I have mentioned before that marriage is hard work, yet it can be very rewarding. But you have to do the work, every day.

So The Hubs and I have been doing this new thing for about a week now. I totally stole it from a blog I frequently read.  It doesn't take a lot of time, but it does force you to reflect on your day and your marriage every day. And it's totally worth it!

All you have to do are five things. Tell your spouse two things you're grateful for, two things that made you happy that day, and one reason you're glad you're married to that person. That's it! It's so easy and it'll go a long ways to filling up each other's love tank.

Try it!