Last month I had a very eye opening conversation with a colleague of mine. He and his wife were about to celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary, and he told me something that's had me reflecting ever since...
He said that since he and his wife had kids, they've only been on like two dates! Two dates. That's it!
Wow.
And even more staggering...I'm pretty sure they are not alone. Countless couples have fallen trap to the same routine of putting their kids' needs above their own relationship. Shuffling kids around to many activities and sporting events, busy-ing themselves with kid stuff while the relationship between a man and his wife is put on the back burner...only to suffer. Yes. Suffer.
Make no mistake. I'm guilty of this as well, and I do realize that the first few years (or more) as a mom is critical. You want to be there for everything, and you trust no one else to look after your child because you know no one can do it as well as you can.
But what frightens me is watching couples who focus so much on their children, essentially ignoring each other only to find that after the kids have gone to college or moved out...that they have to get to know each other all over again. And worse, some couples don't even make it, sometimes divorcing, because they have grown apart over the years while raising their family.
I think it's important for couples to make time for each other. I think it's even more important for children to see what a healthy and strong marriage looks like while growing up. That's key because if we model those behaviors for our kids, they will know what a healthy marriage should be like when it's their turn to marry and start a family. You with me? And look, I know it's hard to balance it all, and make time for your spouse or significant other, but it must be done.
So. How do you stay connected? For me and The Hubs we have to be creative. We don't have the luxury of getting weekly or even monthly date nights. In fact, we rarely get a night out. So we do what we can. For example, this week and last week, Buddy Roller had camp, so we were able to squeeze a couple lunches in here and there. Sometimes we may try to sneak in a movie too. Sometimes we spend time together playing a board game after Roller has gone to bed, or we may stay up late just to have a meaningful conversation. And sometimes, we just close our bedroom door and tell Roller that mommy and daddy just need a little time together to talk about stuff. It works!
Earlier today, we were fortunate to squeeze in a lunch. We only had an hour, but we made every minute count talking, laughing, joking around and just sharing our day with each other. It's that time together...without distractions and mommy, mommy, mommy every second...that strengthens our relationship and draws us closer.
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| Shrimp po'boy and crawfish bisque at Pappadeaux Seafood Kitchen |
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| Shrimp, scallops and dirty rice |
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| Sweet Potato Pecan Pie with vanilla ice-cream...O-M-Geeee |
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