On Fourteen Years of Marriage

Some things you just never forget.

Like what it felt like to own my first car. But I'll also never forget the day I drove away in my second car. It was a used 1991 Honda Accord, and at the time, it was almost ten years old, but to me, it felt new. And exciting! I remember driving off the car lot and feeling a sense of joy and pride. Me and my car! We were going places, and I looked forward to the little things like taking it through the car wash, and driving to places like the grocery story was now no "ordinary" trip because, now, when I walked to my car, in the parking lot, I could admire it, once again, thinking...that's my car!  Over the years, my car and I developed a rhythm. We understood each other. I knew it needed it's regular maintenance, and I knew my limits with my old car. Like how it would almost tremble and slightly shake when I tried to push it to the limits of driving fast speeds.  But through it all, my little old car remained faithful and never left me stranded. Never.  Even when I had my doubts, my car always came through for me.

Being married for 14 years is kinda like that...


I think most couples would agree that when they first get married, the novelty of it all is pretty exciting. But once the honeymoon is over, and you settle into real life, the hard work really begins. And boy is it hard work...but good work too.

At this stage of our marriage, The Hubs and I are pretty in tune with each other.  We understand that marriage takes hard work and commitment.  We've learned how to co-exist with each other while raising our son. We know when to give the other space, and we know that when things aren't going well, we need to get back to what's important. And for us, that's always been spending quality time together.

This week we celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary, and like with each passing birthday, The Hubs always asks, "What have you learned this year about marriage?" And this is what I told him in a cheeky kind a way:

1. I've learned to keep my mouth shut.
2. I've learned that we won't fail if we make it a priority to keep each other happy.
3. And I've learned that even when I know I'm right, sometimes it's best to just say, "You're right." You wouldn't believe how much that small statement can quench, not add fuel, to the fire. 

Number one got both of us laughing out loud! You see, we really do "get" each other. In March, I wrote a more serious post on wedding advice, you can read about it here.  I think marriage can only get better and better if you work at it. And like an old car, that gets cared for and maintained regularly, your marriage can weather the storms and never leave you stranded.