Women Are The Olympic Athletes of Grudges

It's 3 a.m., and I can't sleep.  I've been tossing and turning in bed for at least an hour...covers off because I'm too hot, then covers on because I'm cold again...willing myself to sleep, quieting the thoughts that have been racing through my mind keeping me awake.

It's been a difficult week so far.

First, it's been hard to wake up early and get back to "reality" and the demands of teaching middle school after having a week off.  That's one thing about teaching I can never get use to...the luxury of having time off and then that feeling of dread when you  have to return to work.  It's much harder too, after Christmas vacation of two weeks, and even worse in the summer after two months off. Ugh. You mean it's already time to go back to work!

Second, there's conflict. Drama. Family drama. Not my immediate one. Extended family. I know it exists. I hear of family feuds all the time. I hate that it exists. I hate being a part of it. I want every one to be happy and get along. But it's not that easy.  Since I'm a direct person, I like to go right to the source and "talk about things." I want a chance to voice my feelings, and I want to hear from the other person. I would never intentionally try to hurt someone's feelings, that's just not who I am.  But I'm certain it's happened before when I've done that.  When something I've said was misunderstood or taken out of context. It happens all the time. That's why I like to talk things through and be given that chance to apologize for any hurtful comments I may have said.  I'm realizing others don't really like that direct approach. People get sensitive, they retaliate, and before you know it...what was intended to be a civil discussion with a peaceful resolution gets turned into something bigger and uglier. Just like that!

Sigh.

So that's why I can't sleep.

And that's why, at three in the morning, I decided to read the next book on my list.  I'm up anyway! Why not?

And that's when I came across these lines from Liane Moriarty's latest book (which by the way, is good so far, you might want to read it) Big Little Lies...

All conflict can be traced back to someone's feelings getting hurt. 

Women don't let things go. 

Women are like the Olympic athletes of grudges.

This is so true! I can attest to it! I'm guilty. Some of the women I know are guilty. Heck, a lot of us are.

I'm writing about this because I knew it would be therapeutic to do so, and I need to let things go. I need to move forward.

Women just may need to be more like men when it comes to these sorts of things. Men just don't sweat this small stuff, right? They really don't.

So if you happen to be reading this, and I've hurt your feelings for something I did or said like eons ago, I'm sincerely sorry. I really am.  The truth is, I probably don't even remember saying it, I didn't mean to hurt you, and...maybe, just maybe....you are being just too freaking sensitive.

Get over it.

I ask that you judge me, not on one single act or comment but, on my overall character and actions.

Is it worth ruining your family or a friendship?

Life is too short.

Focus your energy on far more important things.

Let it go!!!

I am.

Finally.