Fear is Bigger Than the Obstacle Itself

I've lived long enough, and I've been through many challenges to know that this is true. Fear is bigger than the obstacle itself...



For those of us who worry and are anxious about life in general, you know that we fear so many things in life.

For the past several years, I've lived a life of fear. I can't tell you how many nights I've lain awake, my mind racing with thoughts about what could happen, what I would do if those things happened...all causing me to spiral down into a rabbit hole of despair. These thoughts leave me with anxiety and sleepless nights.

Granted. I have cause to fear, and I believe a lot of us do. I am a mother raising a young man which comes with many worries. I'm married to someone who has health challenges. And I have a job teaching young people which does carry some amount of stress.  While how I feel is normal, it is not healthy to carry on this way.

My most simple example is this.  I have a fear of heights, roller coasters and giant slides. As I'm standing in line for the giant slide, after being cajoled (but rather forced!) by The Hubs that "it will be fun," a feeling of dread literally comes over me. I am physically uneasy.  My palms are sweating, and I feel like I need to use the restroom. And as I'm sitting on that scratchy brown burlap bag they make you sit on, to help give you "speed" (which I would rather not have!) as you're going down, I'm still protesting right up to this very moment. While comical to my family, it is really not for me. I usually end up screaming...ALL the way down.

And when I get to the end...just look at my smile! That right there just exemplifies pure joy. When I look back at that experience, my fear was bigger!

Of course there are far more complicated "life" fears than that. Not going after a promotion at work or not applying for a life changing opportunity.  Not pursuing one's dreams or not starting a new business. Letting doubts take over your mind. It's all fear.

For many years, I wanted to earn the title of "Teacher of the Year" at my school. I'd been nominated a few times, but I had talked myself out of it. I won't win. I'm not good enough. It's a lot of work...application, essays to write etc. etc. And then one year, I decided to go for it. I was nominated again, but this time I didn't let fear hold me back. Read this post for more on how that turned out. Turns out again, my fear was bigger!

To cope with fear, I like to repeat this mantra...I'm no longer a slave to fear. I am a child of God.  I also post reminders and quotes for myself in the form of Sticky Notes on mirrors in my bedroom and bathroom. I read them when I need a reminder that fear IS bigger than the obstacle itself.

I'm not gonna lie. This is an on-going journey for me. I'd love to say that I'm fearless, but I'm not.  I still struggle with fear, but I'm learning to take things one day at a time and live in the moment.