Do the Things That Scare You

I had an emotional morning! I was boohooing and crying my eyes out. Yes I sure was.  Let's just say that I witnessed my son in a very challenging and uncomfortable situation, and not wanting to be that hovering mom, I gave him the best advice I could think of while trying not to cry in front of him...

My advice to him was...do the things that scare you, challenge you and make you really uncomfortable.

It all started with basketball camp.  Buddy Roller has taken a huge interest in playing basketball. He dribbles and shoots every day in front of the hoop by our house. He has shown nothing but boldness and confidence as he goes up playing against some of the biggest and baddest (yes, I'll use this word even though I know it's grammatically incorrect!) kids in my neighborhood. I'm talking about 12 and 13 year olds, and he's only five!

So I signed up him for a camp that started this morning. First issue. The website clearly stated the camp was for kids ages five to 12! When we got there, it wasn't so. There were kids seven and up, with the majority of kids being upwards of 12! Buddy Roller was the smallest and shortest of all the kids. He was the only five year old! Then...to make matters worse, all the other kids were given matching camp t-shirts. There were none to fit Roller. So not only was he the youngest and smallest, but he also stood out more due to the fact that he was the only one wearing a white t-shirt.

By this point, I was annoyed and disappointed that we had one, already paid for this camp that wasn't what I had expected, and two, we had driven more than 30 minutes to get there, and I didn't want this day to be a complete loss. And yes, all these were my idiosyncrasies. I was worried about the older kids and how Buddy Roller would react to them. Would he feel intimidated? Uncomfortable? Out of place? A myriad of thoughts were rushing through my little brain. Would the coaches be annoyed that they may have to give him special attention and time due to his size and age? 

And so far, at this point, all Roller wanted to do was get in there and play. He wasn't concerned about any of my issues. That is until he actually got in there and saw what he would be facing.

The Hubs and I did speak with the coaches and shared some of our concerns. They decided to take him under their wings and see how the day would go. At the end of the day, we had the option get a full refund.  So we stuck around for about 10 minutes to watch Roller warm up and do some stretches with the rest of the campers. 

As I watched him, I felt my emotions getting the better of me. I want nothing more than to protect my son, but I also know that's not the correct way to raise him. As a boy, I know that I want him to face fear head on and never back down in the eyes of adversity.  But then I saw the look of discomfort in his eyes, the way he was watching the other kids to make sure he was doing things just right. I saw the hurt in his eyes when he was the first one to fall while running backwards. And that's when I knew I would be crying a river pretty soon. 

I don't know where all my emotions came from. I can't control them or stop them, but when I knew and felt that his spirit was crushed is when I knew my spirit was crushed too. And all I knew is that my heart was literally aching for him.  After completing a couple more warm ups, he ended up near the bleachers where I was sitting. I saw the look of defeat in his big beautiful brown eyes, his eyebrows arched up, and those big brown eyes that were, at first, shining bright with anticipation this morning, were now starting to well up in tears.  

Oh boy...here we go.

I want to go home he pleaded.

Why? I asked.

I don't know he said as more tears came.

At that very moment, I wanted nothing more than to gather him up in my safe and protective arms, dry his tears, and take him home. But. That isn't the answer. One of the biggest lessons I want him to learn is that he needs to do what scares the daylights out of him! I don't want him to be a quitter; I want him to be bold and brave. So I told him, the things that scare you, the things that challenge you, and the things that make you really uncomfortable...are the things you need to do.

Thankfully, The Hubs was there to keep me from being that protective mom. He told Roller to get back to his warm up in that father's tone that lets you know you have no other choice, and then The Hubs and I walked out of the gym. All day, I couldn't wait to get back to him to see how things had turned out.  And at the end of the day, you know what? He was just fine. He had survived. When we picked him up, he was in good spirits...just a lot worn out! His spirit was in tact, and that's all I wanted to see. He stuck with it. He didn't give up. That's most important. I was proud of him, and I told him so.

What is one of the biggest lessons you want to teach your son or daughter?  Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted to cry, but knew you had to hold it together for your child in order to teach a life lesson?