Why We Guilt Ourselves

I know some moms who take breaks from their children and feel absolutely no guilt. And I know of many more moms who do not take a much needed break for fear of the guilt they know they will feel if they do.

As a working mom who does not have the luxury of a trusted babysitter, or an extended family for support, I secretly wish for a day off from life, or even a weekend getaway.  But just the mere thought of that makes me feel less of a mom and so guilty.

On rare occasions when I do get to steal away and have some alone "me" time while The Hubs and Buddy Roller are bonding, I have feelings of angst and regret...often times making me unable to enjoy my free time, eventually cutting my time short,  and heading back home earlier than planned.

My feelings were recently validated when a mommy friend of mine shared my exact sentiment. She's out of town on business (away from her family), but feels so much guilt for the much needed break she's getting.

Why do we guilt ourselves into thinking we don't deserve a break, or that we are less than a perfect mom for wanting one?

Is it because we fear no one else can take care of, or love our children exactly the way we do? Is it because we are control freaks who might miss an hour or more of our children's lives that we know we can never get back? Is it because we dread our kids will notice we're taking a break, and will judge us, and love us a little less?  Is it because admitting we "need" a break may make us feel less competent and not enough of a "real woman" who should be able to "handle it all." Because if we compare ourselves to those "other" moms (which we do, even though we know we shouldn't)...you know the ones who do everything with their kids, the ones who spend every waking hour with their pride and joy, the ones who get them to bed on time, the ones who cook perfectly nutritious meals all the time, the ones who not only work, but manage to volunteer at their children's school all the time, who seem to be able to juggle it all and make it look so darn easy...then heck to the YES we just may feel like we're failing in a grand way.

But the truth of the matter is, when we make comparisons, we are robbing ourselves of happiness.  I would bet money that most moms, even if they're faking it til they make it, have those same universal thoughts of guilt I'm talking about.  I'm sure they're secretly dreaming of a getaway WK (without kids). And our kids aren't judging us! In fact, they're having so much fun while we're away, they aren't counting the minutes til we come back. And contrary to what you think, neither is there a group out there floating around keeping tabs on just how many times us moms take a break, let alone wish for one.

The bottom line is, you need a break, so take one! Guilt free!!! You'll be a much happier person and a much better mom.  That time to recharge and renew will do wonders for your mind and soul, and will make you less irritable and impatient.

So go ahead...take a break today.  You deserve it. Do it for you.